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There is some truth to George Michael’s song “Faith” its small but true. You got to have it. When Jesus was ministering with the disciples there were times when the disciples lacked faith. When Peter stepped out of the boat and began to sink Jesus commented on his faith because he showed little at that time (matt 14:22-36). In Luke 8 Jesus is asleep on a boat with the disciples and a storm is threatening to capsize the boat. The disciples wake Jesus up, he makes the sea calm and looks at his disciples and asks “Where is your faith?” It seems that the men who are with Jesus the most seem to have the biggest problem with believing. They even ask him to increase their faith because what he is teaching them is so hard to do (Luke 17).
God has gifted each of us with spiritual gifts that are to be used for his glory. I discovered what mine were about 8 years ago while taking a spiritual gifts test. I was working as an accountant at the time and leading an out of college/newly married ministry at our church. The results of the gift test would change the rest of my life. Faith was my number one gift, followed by pastoring/shepherding, then teaching. Needless to say I was shocked but after further thinking about the results they made sense. I had never really questioned God and for some reason always thought things would work out in the end. I enjoyed people and teaching so all the gifts seem to fit. Here was the rub, if I wanted them to get better they would have to be challenged. If I wanted them to get stronger I had to use them, my first use was leaving my accounting career and starting in seminary. Wondering how bills would be paid God provided me a full-time job, doing guess what…youth ministry. This gave me the chance to practice my gifts full-time! Over the past years stories like this have continued in my life. As I look back I see how faithful God has been to me, my wife, and our boys. He has never left us. There have been times when I have struggled greatly in my spiritual life but he always sees me through. There have been huge trials in my ministry and he has been more than faithful in seeing me not only through them but coming out better on the other side. Now I am in a season where my faith is being tested again, this time more than ever.
There are days when I feel exactly like Peter sinking. I am paralyzed by fear and the only thing I can do is cry out and he pulls me up. There are times when I have a hard lesson to learn and I ask him to increase my faith as a result and he does. I want more faith but to get more God has to give it and I have to use what I already have. When we ask God to transform us to be more like Christ he is going to do it. Don’t pray for rain and not carry an umbrella. We need to be ready and willing when God moves. While we may seem like we are in control but we are deceiving ourselves into a false reality and sometimes God has to wake us up to the reality. He is in control. His will is far better than mine. He knows what is best. He loves me and only has my best interest in mind. I must rest in the reality that the sovereign God of the universe loves me more than I can imagine and is doing what is best for me, despite my feelings and worries. I must look to him as my source of comfort, love, happiness, joy and fulfillment. When times are hard and my faith is uncertain I feel like Peter sinking but Jesus is always there to rescue me. In faith I rest completely in God.
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